I make an excellent roasted chicken. I mean.. its my signature dish. I make it about every other week since it’s something I know the kids like, makes me happy and is pretty easy on the wallet. (especially when I can find whole chickens on for 49-89 cents a pound)  and until today have had it down to a science.

I should have known that this particular chicken would be bothersome when after leaving it to thaw over night it was still frozen in the middle when I went to put it on last night… rats. It was a different brand than I usually buy so I just shrugged and threw it back in the fridge. We ended up eating Wendy’s chili.

SO today I was zipping around and stopped long enough to absentmindedly unwrap the dastardly bird, rub it down with italian dressing and salt and pepper it. I threw it back in the fridge and didnt think about it again until around 4 when I put it in the oven…

In my perfected chicken routine I preheat the oven to 500 and then sear the chook in the blazing hot oven for 20 or so minutes.. then I turn it down to 400 and let it cook to perfection an hour or so later.. heh. Today.. I must have used a different italian dressing because after about 15 minutes the skin was already very dark (from sugar in the dressing probably) and the kitchen was kinda smoky from marinade that had dripped into the pan.

I hollered for Thing One to turn the blazing bird down from the den where I was folding towells.  She turned it down.. wayy down. to 375. Which wouldnt have made that big of a deal, had I noticed it when I came back in the kitchen an hour later to fix the side dishes.  I whistled to myself as I whipped up garlic smashed potatoes (with my brand new kitchenaid mixer thankyouverymuch) and sauted yellow squash. Then, when I pulled out the crispy bird and wiggled the legs.. they didnt wiggle.. they should have practically come out of the bird… I poked it with my meat thermometer (safety first.. roasted chicken should read 170 or so in the thigh meat) uhhh… the red arm of the thermometer jumped to 145 and stuck there.. stubbornly glaring at me. whatsmore the place where I had stuck the sharp end of the thermometer was BLEEDING. Whaaaat the…? I slid the offending creature around and peered into its cavaty.. umm what should have been the cavity instead I was looking at a soggy paper bag full of ewwwww chicken lips and feet and whatever else. I didnt open it.

This was not going as planned. Thats what I get for being so.. cocky about my bird! I eventually managed to get dinner on the table.. an hour later.