I am supremely content this evening. Nothing really super extraordinary happened today. But here I sit. happily content. yay

Today was my first day back at work. ( I took a leave of absence when Steven got sick and havent been to work since 12/23)  It felt so good to go in this morning. Suprisingly. I actually expected it to be torture to be up so early and all after our schedules being disrupted to intensly. For the past 2 weeks  since he got out of the hospital, Steven and I have been staying up till all hours and then going back to bed after the girls were off to school. But I was up before the alarm this morning and ready to go to work even a few minutes early.   Shoney’s is always a hotbed of happenings. so it was fun to see everyone and catch up on all the gossip news. The morning went pretty quickly.

After work I went home and made a crockpot dinner who’s recipe has been simmering in my brain since I went home to Alaska last spring. I love thai food.. There is something about that set of flavors that resinates with me and it’s comfort food to me. Of course noodles and potato and rice based dishes are to pretty much everyone. Anyway, while I was there my BFF elizabeth and I went to her favorite place and had pineapple chicken curry and it was amazing. tender chicken, sweet pineapple in a not to spicy sauce over sticky steamed Jasmine rice.. mmmm  She said she made it all the time.. and gave me her quickie version of it..I decided to adapt it to crockpot since I have a brand new one that I am LOVING.

Pineapple Chicken Curry

1 whole  bone in chicken cut up, and  de-skinned ( I got most of it off.. I need sharper knives)

3 cups chicken stock (love the stock in a box)

2 tbsp red curry (more or less to your taste.. next time I’ll use even more)

1 tsp ground ginger (I think id have used 1/4 tsp grated ginger if Id had any)

2 sm onions quartered

4 sm potatoes peeled and cut into large pieces

1 can of coconut milk

1 can of pineapple chunks in juice

4 tbsp flour

salt and pepper to taste

3 tbsp olive oil

In a large skillet  heat the oil and brown the chicken pieces that you have seasoned with salt and pepper.  You dont need to cook the chicken to doneness, just until nicely browned.  In a large crockpot nestle the chicken amoung the potatoes, and onions. Pour in the pineapple and the coconut milk. Deglaze the chicken skillet with the chicken stock (reserve 1 cup) , be sure to work up the brown bits from the bottom. Add the curry and the ginger. In a small bowl whisk together the flour and the reserved chicken stock.  When the stock is up to a slight bubble drizzle in the flour mixture and wisk until thickened.  Pour the mixture over the chicken and stir until incorporated.  Cover he crockpot and set on high. I let mine cook 7 hours and the chicken fell off the bones. Serve over rice. (I just stopped at the local chinese place and ordered a quart of steamed rice)

Even Thing Two who is a PLAIN JANE eater ate two plates of it. It was delicious. YAY

After I got dinner in the pot, I went and had my hair cut. I was going to let it grow out.. I have a friend who has amazing long curly hair that is so pretty.. and I covet it. BUT I just dont have the patience to get there. SO I cut it back to the cute layered bob I had before I started letting it grow out.. I am thinking of experiementing with the color though. What should I do? Ideas?

 After dinner I took a wonderful hot bubble bath with this awesome new scent that I picked up at Bath and body works on saturday. It’s called “Rain kissed Leaves”. It is a light clean scent that is so relaxing. I just love it. Must get some of the body cream in that scent. I filled the tub, poured myself a drink, and put on my ipod and read my book until I was all pruney. 

I have been reading voraciously lately. Must be due to the fact that we have been either in hospital, or housebound for the better part of a month. For the most part I have been reading cheesy romance novels that I could pick up at the convenience store near the hospital. My Aunt Cindy reads them and has also been supplying my habit with her handmedowns. Barnes and Noble was having a HUGE sale saturday though and I got a book I have been wanting to read for some time.  Julie and Julia, by Julie Powell.  About a fellow blogger who embarks on a project to cook her way through Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking  in a year. It’s delightful. I highly suggest it.

I know youre thinking Ive done a lot of shopping lately.. but not really, Saturday, we took the Dr’s advice and headed to Florence to the mall.. generally I dislike the mall. But it was a perfect place for Steven to get some walking done. He could go at his own pace in a climate controlled space with plenty of resting spots. We made a day of it and the girls loved it. We even spoiled them a little and let them pick out a few treats. (Aeropostale for Thing One and Limited Too for Thing Two)

So anyway.. now I am going to watch Jon and Kate + 8. what a lovely day.

I make an excellent roasted chicken. I mean.. its my signature dish. I make it about every other week since it’s something I know the kids like, makes me happy and is pretty easy on the wallet. (especially when I can find whole chickens on for 49-89 cents a pound)  and until today have had it down to a science.

I should have known that this particular chicken would be bothersome when after leaving it to thaw over night it was still frozen in the middle when I went to put it on last night… rats. It was a different brand than I usually buy so I just shrugged and threw it back in the fridge. We ended up eating Wendy’s chili.

SO today I was zipping around and stopped long enough to absentmindedly unwrap the dastardly bird, rub it down with italian dressing and salt and pepper it. I threw it back in the fridge and didnt think about it again until around 4 when I put it in the oven…

In my perfected chicken routine I preheat the oven to 500 and then sear the chook in the blazing hot oven for 20 or so minutes.. then I turn it down to 400 and let it cook to perfection an hour or so later.. heh. Today.. I must have used a different italian dressing because after about 15 minutes the skin was already very dark (from sugar in the dressing probably) and the kitchen was kinda smoky from marinade that had dripped into the pan.

I hollered for Thing One to turn the blazing bird down from the den where I was folding towells.  She turned it down.. wayy down. to 375. Which wouldnt have made that big of a deal, had I noticed it when I came back in the kitchen an hour later to fix the side dishes.  I whistled to myself as I whipped up garlic smashed potatoes (with my brand new kitchenaid mixer thankyouverymuch) and sauted yellow squash. Then, when I pulled out the crispy bird and wiggled the legs.. they didnt wiggle.. they should have practically come out of the bird… I poked it with my meat thermometer (safety first.. roasted chicken should read 170 or so in the thigh meat) uhhh… the red arm of the thermometer jumped to 145 and stuck there.. stubbornly glaring at me. whatsmore the place where I had stuck the sharp end of the thermometer was BLEEDING. Whaaaat the…? I slid the offending creature around and peered into its cavaty.. umm what should have been the cavity instead I was looking at a soggy paper bag full of ewwwww chicken lips and feet and whatever else. I didnt open it.

This was not going as planned. Thats what I get for being so.. cocky about my bird! I eventually managed to get dinner on the table.. an hour later.

Since I ate some potato soup! I was feeling “soupish” today and this potato soup hit THE spot just perfectly. The things were doing a yummy dance all around the kitchen. mmmm mmmmm

Potato Soup

5 slices of bacon diced and fried crisp (reserve the drippings)

4 large potatoes peeled and cut into large pieces

1 large onion diced

1 pack of “butter and herb” instant mashed potato mix

2 boxes of chicken stock (I like the Rachel Ray brand)

1/2 cup of heavy cream

salt and pepper to taste

shredded cheddar cheese, sour cream, chives

In a large heavy pot fry off the bacon and remove from the drippings. Pour off about half the grease and to the hot pot add the onions. Season the onions with salt and pepper and cook until slightly softened. Add potaotes and 1/2 of the bacon, toss well. Saute for a few minutes, but do not brown. Add chicken stock and simmer until potatoes are done. Add instant potatoes and cream. Stir welll and season to taste. Serve with remaining bacon, sour cream, cheese, and chives.

BIG time.. on everything really. Sleep, housework, family time.  We are still enjoying being home so so much. I have been SUPER busy though. The house wasnt particularly clean when we went into the hospital being that it was Christmas day and after two weeks it was pretty icky. I have been cleaning up a storm. Things are feeling some better. I may have overdone things a little yesterday though, as I feel all wrung out today. Anyone feel like mopping my kitchen floor?

I got a great new crock pot for Christmas from my parents and I put it to use yesterday and made some Beef Stew. It was so good. Steven managed to eat only a little of it though. His appetitite is still next to nothing. I cant blame him for feeling iffy about food though. Basically he is getting enough in him to take his meds, and eating the activia yogurt that he was prescribed. Have you ever been prescribed a certain food to eat? Steven’s Dr suggested that he try to get some good biotics working since between the sugery and the MAJOR MAJOR courses of antibiotics he was on he was pretty sure there wasnt much alive down there.  He didnt say that he thought the claims that the yogurt could change your digestion, but he knew for that brand had the live cultures that Steve needs.  I tasted it.. and its pretty good. Peach WAY better than strawberry.. we will try the blueberry and the vanilla next week.

We have an appointment today at 3 and I am a little anxious. I want to hear that we are doing ok with the infection, and that he is healing well. I am also hoping that the dr will have some suggestions on keeping the drain flushed as I feel like it is clogging some. I will update when we get back.

** UPDATE***

We got a GREAT report from the Dr. He was SUPER happy with the way Steven is healing. The port is draining well, and the nurse plucked out about half of the 50 or so staples left in the suture. (I thought it would hurt.. but Steven said it didnt at all) So basically more of the same for us. He did excuse Steven from work until MARCH 1. ugh. thats a long long time. I am excused until Jan 26.  to take care of him. I am sure that he will be ready for me to go back then. (the question is… will I be ready for him to be ready for me to go back?)

HOME is totally best.  Ohhhh yeah baby. We are HOME from the hospital. And O.M.G  it feels so so good.

Friday morning our Dr. came to check in on Steven and to report about all of the lab reports that he had been running. Thankfully he was super excited about Steven’s levels. He still had a little bit of an elevated white blood count and he was still running low grade fevers in the evenings but as far as he was concerned we had BEATEN the infection. WHOOOO HOOOOO! At that point he wrote orders that Steven’s IV’s be dialed back to 50% and then slowly weaned to only the antibiotics. He was also able to get unhooked from telemetry and these little leg squeezey things (they constantly massage the legs by squeezing and releasing pressure to prevent blood clots) He was Steven UNPLUGGED.  He also upped his diet to include even more solid foods. The first since christmas morning 15 days before! 

FINALLY friday Steven began to tollerate food. Everything stayed down and ahem.. things slowed down on the other end. He didnt try to many things.. and days later his appetite is SUPER cautious. But he IS eating. Friday evening we got the word that we would be going home saturday.. We were so so excited.

But.. Friday we also got word that Steven’s Uncle Bill who had been fighting Leukemia for several years had died.  He had been in the room across the hall from us all that week when Uncle Bill had been admtted for pneumonia. It was nice to be so closeby and Steven’s cousins stopped in to see him all day long. Steven was also able to walk over and say his goodbyes early last week when we were moved from ICU. He might have missed that had he been in Hospice or at another hospital. When we went to sleep friday night we knew Uncle Bill wasnt doing well, and sometime after 4 am a nurse came and quietly woke me and told me that Uncle Bill had passed.

I guess losing Uncle Bill made our “victory” all the sweeter. It made me even more hyper aware of how lucky and blessed I was to be taking my husband home. Yesterday we went to the veiwing at the funeral home (we only stayed a minute as I wasnt allowing Steven to get overtired.. normally Id not have allowed him to go at all.. but we felt like it might help his Aunt to feel better knowing he was “okay” as she had been VERY worred about him) I keep getting short of breath thinking about how very close I came to being that widow on the front row. By the time we got home I was totally nausiated by the thought. I think Steven is getting weirded out by how much I just want to smooch on him and how close I want to be. (at this point I barely let him pee alone.. sometimes)

Anyway. Saturday morning we were up with the sun and packed and waiting for the Dr to come in. Steven had a bath and got dressed in the super “smexy” Dr Pepper pajama pants and t shirt I bought him to come home in. WOWZA! I guess I didnt realize how much weight he was losing until I saw him in clothes! He had been sporting the very unslimming “grey-ish hospital gown” look all week and I guess I just didnt notice.  So far he has lost a total of 31 lbs since being admitted.

This picture was taken Christmas Eve at Steven’s Parents house. About 20 or so hours before his bowell perforated.

This was tonight. 18 days later. Note that he is wearing the same shirt. Wow. Ive seen it happen in person and its freaking me out a little.

FINALLY Dr Blum came in and took out the central line IV and had the wound cleaned and redressed as well as instructed me on taking care of the Jasckson Pratt drain that was left in Steven’s side to drain fluids from his abdomen. (ew. no details.. but believe me. yick)  Before we knew it we were on our way home!

We did make one quick stop. Our hairdresser is a close friend is usually closed on saturdays, but she agreed to open her shop for a special client. Steve needed a haircut in the WORST way. Also, since he is unable to shower (we have to keep the drain dry)  and can only bathe in very shallow water she has agreed to let us come up a couple times a week for her to wash his hair. He said he felt MUCH better without that crazy person hairdo. (he had been channeling Albert Einstien for about a week)

We have just been resting since. Steven feels really really weak. (and shouldnt he?!)  He insisted on going to church this morning. But I think it may have been alllllmost to much for him as he slept on and off the rest of the day. The Dr said it wouldnt take him long to see what he was and wasnt up to. We go back to the Dr tuesday for a check and to have his pump cleaned. Steven’s ex-sister-in-law is a nurse with Home Health, so we may be able to have her come and take care of it in leu

1. Where is your cell phone?  on the beside table
2. Where is your significant other?  in the hospital bed across the room watching “Insider”
3. Your hair color? brown
4. Your mother?  an encourager
5. Your father? steadfast
6. Your favorite thing?  my HOME
7. Your dream last night?  I never slept long enough to get into dreamstate
8. Your dream/goal?  to lose enough weight this year to get pregnant in 2010
9. The room you’re in?  room 123 Mcleod Regional Hospital
10. Your hobby? blogging, crochet, cooking,
11. Your fear?  being unable to provide Steven the care he will need when we come out of here.. or afford to not be able to afford it!
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years?   who cares as long as we are healthy and together
13. Where were you last night?  room 123 Mcleod Regional Hospital
14. What you’re not?  fake, a liar, disloyal, RICH
15. One of your wish-list items?  a clean bill of health for Steven, a dependable car, unlimited vacations
16. Where you grew up? Alaska
17. The last thing you did? walked to the waiting area so the Things could see Steven.
18. What are you wearing? white t shirt and a brown and pink track suit thingee
19. Your TV?  The Insider
20. Your pet? a dog and a Cat
21. Your computer? HP
22. Your mood? reasonable. tired.
23. Missing someone? yes. My girls,my dog, my bed, my shower, my co-workers,my sister
24. Your car?  Grand Marquie
25. Something you’re not wearing? a bra
26. Favorite store? Dollar Tree, walmart, barnes and noble
27. Your summer? beachy, busy, hot
28. Love someone? Husband
29. Your favorite color? red
30. When is the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? yesterday when I came home to shower.. being in the house, knowing Steven wasnt home sucked big time.

WOW. Its been a while since I updated! We are still in the hospital here in Dillon. Steven, however is doing much much better. We did end up spending the weekend in ICU again…but Sunday night after a long day I went home for the evening. I was so so tired. (and remain so!) and was sleeping when the phone rang. Let me tell you my heart stopped! Steven had been running a low grade fever all day and I had requested that I be notified if anything changed. It was his ICU nurse calling,but only to notify me that they would be moving him to the medsurge floor as his room was needed for a more critical patient! So I quickly got dressed and headed back to hospital. And that is pretty much where I have been. (My cousin brought me her laptop to borrow today and I am working off the hospital’s super fast wifi.)

 Tuesday Steven had a catscan and we didnt get results until yesterday. They weren’t exactly what we’d hoped. It seems that this is going to be a much longer, more involved saga than we’d imagined. The surgeon told us that Steven has the colon of a 60 year old man. And that eventually he will need more extensive surgery with the possible removal of his large intesintes. We thought we’d come in, get fixed up and go home feeling pretty much the same. Its just not happening that way.  He will pretty much deal with this issue forever.

For the short term we are working to get him back on solid food. He has been fed though a central line IVsince wednesday of last week. So far his stomach is rejecting food.. in one end and out  the other really fast. Which as you can imagine gets tricky being that he has a wound that doesnt allow him to move very quickly. THIS is where the “worse” in the “for better or worse” comes in. EW.   Our Dr’s are working to allow us home by the weekend or monday.. which I think will go a long way for both of us. I cant imagine why hospitals find it neccesary to wake sick people up every few minutes. It seems totally counterproductive to me. We have one night nurse that is particularly chatty. Personally? I feel that she is the devil’s handmaiden. If she were a day nurse I think I might feel different about her. But at 20 to 4 I am not pleasant, nor do I wish anyone else be. This morning? If Id have had something handy I might have thrown something at her when she flipped on the light.

When we DO go home Steven will have a drain in his belly. He still has an abcess that is causing us headaches, and a fistula that is draining some stool. (total TMI right?) This will stay in place until the fistula either corrects itself or we come back for surgery to repair it. I am hoping for the later.  The girls are doing pretty well through all of this. They miss thier Daddy for sure. We walked down to the waiting area so Thing 2 could visit a little. She seemed pretty curious about all the tubes and wires and I think will benefit from seeing the actual wound so she know’s exactly what is going on. We have always been really straight with our kids. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I think it’s valuable for them to see that bad things happen to good people, but it’s the way you deal with what happens that makes the difference. And? We are dealing.

I totally believe that there must be a soundtrack to my life. Because every situation translates to a song. The past couple days as I have recognized that my role as wife is changing a little to include “caregiver” (far sooner than I imagined it would) I keep hearing the song that my sister sang at our wedding. “Come what may” It speaks volumes about what marriage is about.. no matter what, I am in this. “Storm clouds may gather, stars may collide, but I love you, till the end of time.” “

and on and on. Steven’s heartbeat that is.. Thank God. That, is what I have been listening to on the ICU monitor constantly today as he slept.  Steven is still fighting a bad infection. No fever today though and the Dr says that as long as he is not running a temperature that we are winning the fight.

  He had a pretty rough night I was told by his night nurses when I called to check on him at 4 this morning..   and He was exhausted when I got there at 8.  I did manage to get him settled though  and he slept some in the morning hours.  We were able to get him bathed really well today and that went a LONG way to getting him feeling better. He was even able to sit up some and didnt have a pain shot for 3 hours.  He went to sleep after we got him back in bed though and slept most of the evening. BUT he was wide awake and feeling actually the best I have seen him feel since before christmas by the time I got back from into the room after the shift change (the nurses ask everyone to step out of the unit during shift change so they can asses the patients.. it gives me a really good excuse to go outside and get some air, make phonecalls, and get some dinner) We watched tv for a while and he bantered a little with the night nurse (LOVE her)  He was still wide awake and still feeling pretty good when I left at 10.  I got him settled and cleaned up for sleep before I left. It was MUCH easier to leave him tonight as I felt like he was comfy and feeling ok.

If everything goes well, our goal is to be out of the ICU by Monday and into our own room on the med-surg hall. The POSSIBLY even HOME HOME HOME by next weekend or monday week.  There just may be a light at the end of this tunnel.

Just a quick update on Steven.. we are still in ICU.. well again we are in ICU. Days are running together, but we were moved to the floor.. or a regular room a couple days ago (? umm sunday? monday?)  Steven remained in a lot of pain and heavily sedated.  He was unable to get anything to stay down and vomited on and off the entire night. for most of the time he sat up in a recliner and I held a bucket under his chin and prayed… and counted the moments until the next morphine shot.   

    By morning his belly was so distended he looked bigger than any full term pregnancy. Gas had built up in his belly and he spiked a fever of 104. Our Dr came in and sent orders for a CTscan.  Steven was in so much pain and it was so awful to watch him bounce from the bed to the chair and back again while we waited for results. FINALLY the DR came in and reported that while there were no visible blockages there was an INSANE amount of gas built up and that there was an infection brewing in his intestines. He also said that he thought Steven needed to go back into ICU and in for a short surgery.

   This was too release the gases that had built up and to install a “central line” which is really just a more permanent IV that is sewn into a vein in his shoulder. This will allow for Steven to recieve nutrients through his IV and for blood to be drawn without sticking him anymore. An  ” NG tube” was also put in through his nose in order for gasses and fluids to be pumped from his stomach.  This is all done to allow his digestive track to rest and heal and to allow the  HUGE amount of antibiotics to do thier work.

He has a drain in his belly and it is doing it’s work too.. he is constantly draining a FOUL smelling liquid. MUCH better out than in. I am a little worried about it.. the smell is really something awful.  Im hoping that it will clear up really soon. Its bad for him and he is pretty uncomfy with it.

Steve has wires and tubes and cords going every which way. and he is constantly hot and sweaty. I have been trying my best to keep him wiped down and cool.. but I think it’s begining to really wear on him. He was resting comfortably today though, so that was a blessing.

With Steve in the unit I am not allowed to stay with him all night and THAT SUCKS..I HATE leaving him at all. However I do think that this is the best thing for him and I am thankful that he is being taken good care of when I cannot be there. I really like the nurses that are on at night (we like the day nurses too though) and trust them. I also know that if Steven asks for me they will call me and I can be there in a few minutes as we live relatively close to the hospital. The one good thing that comes of me having to leave him is that I got a whole 4 hours of uninterupted sleep last night… and plan to do it again tonight. 

I am holding up. Leaning on my faith and resting in the fact that even in the midst of all this chaos, Jesus is  still who he says he is. He is still on the throne and he KNOWS the plans that he has for Steven. Today I was mindlessly flipping through my ipod and came across a song I havent heard for a really long time.  Eddie James is a christian artist that both Steven and I love and this song has spoken to me so powerfully all this week. I had to post the lyrics for you here. They have been my mantra though every hard thing. I am finding though this that no. matter. what. he. IS.

I Am (By Eddie James)

Verse 1:
I am the Lord, I’m the Almighty God
I am the One for whom nothing is too hard!!
I am the Shepherd and I am the Door
I am the Good news to the bound and the poor

Chorus:
I am, I am, I am, I am

Verse 2:
I am the righteous One and I am the Lamb,
I am the Ram in the bush for Abraham,
I am the Ultimate Sacrifice for sin,
I am your Redeemer, the Beginning and the End

Chorus:
I am, I am, I am, I am

Verse 3:
I am Jehovah, and I am the King,
I am Messiah, David’s Offspring,
I am your High Priest, and I am the Christ,
I am the Resurrection, I am the Life

Chorus:
I am, I am, I am, I am

Verse 4:
I am the Bread, and I am the Wine,
I am your Future, so leave your past behind.
I am the One in the midst of two or three,
I am your Tabernacle, I am your Jubilee.

Chorus:
I am, I am, I am, I am

I am Hope, I am Peace, I am Joy, I am Rest,
Oh I am your Comfort, and Relief from your stress,
I am Strength, I am Faith, I am Love, I am Power,
And today I am your Freedom, this very hour