For the past six years I have been a stay at home mother. The pay? really sucks.. the benefits? however have been priceless. Wondering what my work has actually been worth, monetarily speaking, I did a google search on “what a stay at home mom is worth” and according to http://www.swz.salary.com according to my local area and the median wage for the job description I should have been making slightly more than $11800.00 a year for my 60 hour work weeks. hmm I wonder where I go to collect?

I am NOT complaining. I have LOVED being undividedly available to my girls. I have also loved being able to care for three precious babies and pour love into thier little lives.

This weekend was good. MUCH better than the previous one. Thing One went back to school today having completed her suspension. UGH… all I have to say about that, is that OSS is WAY more of a punishment for parents than for the kids. I kept having to remind myself that she was not on vacation and find henious chores for her to do. I think she is fairly repentant and realizes that she stepped in it BIG TIME. She is still grounded on the home front.. its like Azkaban prison around here and I am the dementor. I hate punishing my kids. SO much. I will be SO SO glad when she is un-grounded and we can move on.

STILL waiting on Aunt Flo. Im planning to call and make an appointment with Dr. Baby tommorow after I know more about what my schedule will be like in the next week or two. Dont feel like we are pregnant… just late. Its bad that I cant even allow myself the optimism anymore. Ive just allowed it to creep in to many times only to be let down again and again. I just cant handle that anymore.

I feel like I am waiting. On SO SO many things. Its an anxious kind of place to be. Waiting and wondering what will happen.. if some things will happen at all.. ugh. As an impatient person that tends to enjoy instant gratification more than waiting things out? Its like torture.

 1. Thing One has had some issues this week.. Im not going into them here to much.. just to say that she is grounded until the rapture.. and home, suspended from school until monday. Its been an emotional, wierd weekdend. BUT we are getting over it. She is still in big trouble.. but I think we are in a better place than we were before she did what she did. We are talking more… she had to have some kind of adult converstations with her Dad.. and had to see some kind of hard things about someone she cares about. But in the end. I think, after some time… and WAITING. It will be ok.

2. I am a week late on my period. Again. Another month where this darn medicine isnt doing its job. I take it faithfully, deal with the side affects and it isnt doing to much at all. If Aunt Flo doesnt make an appearance here in 2 weeks or so I will have to go BACK to Dr Baby, and see another month wasted with no cycle at all. Its so discourageing. I keep willing my body to work. DO WHAT YOU ARE MADE TO DO. DANG IT! 

Whining aside. I am doing pretty well. I am makeing some friendships that I have needed badly in my life. When I moved away from Alaska, I also walked away from a lot of my life long friendships. It was a wierd time in our lives for me to be moving away. We were all in HUGE transition times and the HUGE distance between me and there was just to hard. I have remained in contact and even feel really connected to a couple.. but its not the every day contact and friendship.. the kind of friends that stay connected to you in the day to day. Dont get me wrong Steven is my best friend and we talk all the time.. about almost everything. But there is something about having another woman to talk to that makes a difference. I am FINALLY making a couple of friends like that. Its doing me so much good.  They arent close in local.. at all really. But somehow that isnt mattering much! YAY

Anywho. Lots of waiting.. and waiting and waiting. But I guess thats kind of what life is made up of.

“Wintery weather” is what the weatherman called for. And he sure got it.Its been raining cats all day chilly and nasty and miserable outside. And now its snowing… well “sleeking” as Thing Two called it. Having grown up in Alaska I am not NEARLY as interested in seeing the nasty stuff as she is. But it is pretty to see coming down. I only hope it doesnt stay!

This morning Steven and I went and had breakfast together at Waffle house. They make over medium eggs just the way I like them. Then we ran a couple of errands, including going to vote in the republican primary.(I LIKE MIKE) and have been snuggling watching movies and eating popcorn and smooching.. the kinds of things you do when the kids are out of the house and its “sleeking” outside.

For dinner tonight I put on a crock pot of  my famous beef stew.. well ok it isnt famous. But its so darn good and SO appropriate considering its nasty outside. I also picked up a loaf of Italian bread that I  plan to make into crostini.

Tonight I plan to take a bubble bath and snuggle into my bed with my man and some hot cocoa… maybe even  some more smooching? Hey, a girl’s gotta stay warm somehow!

 Michele’s Beef stew.

1 lb stew meat 1-2 inch cubes

3 big stalks of celery cut on a bias

4-5 potatoes peeled and cut into decent chunks

1 can diced tomatoes drained

7-8 mushrooms sliced

3 carrots peeled and cut on a bias about the same size as the potatoes

1 large onion peeled and cut into wedges.

2 cloves garlic minced (or 2 tsp from the jar)

1/2 tsp each of

thyme, rosemary, crushed red pepper flakes (if you like a kick), black pepper, and oregano

1 cup red wine

1 cup water

3 tbsp flour

1 tbsp salt

1 bay leaf

Set your crock pot on high and dump all the indredients except the wine, the flour, and water  into the pot. Toss everything together well and sprinkle with the flour. Toss well again. Add the wine and the water. Stir well, and cover. Cook for 4-5 hours. Remove bay leaf before serving.

For some reason Thing Two is absolutely killing me lately. She has been a regular comedian. Tonight we called her to dinner and this is how she came out of her room and to the table.

She sat in her spot and looked at me with a very serious face and said.

” I gotta eat fast. Im on a stake out.”

I snorted my iced tea.

The FUNNIEST thing happened at dinner tonight.. and I will probably be TOTALLY fired for blogging it. But I cant resist.

Thing Two HATES vegetables.  Well rephrase that. She hates MOST vegetables. She will tolerate canned green beans and she likes black eyed peas and can deal with canned peas. She LOVES Cesar salad. But other than that? eh. Its like pulling teeth.

Tonight for dinner I made steamed veggies. It was like this medley of wax beans, green beans, and baby carrots. It comes frozen. Wich means its kinda like fresh veggies.. and that Thing Two will not eat it.

Thing One was like that when she was small. In fact we had HUGE fights and battles about eating habits when Steven and I first got together.

So anyway. Thing One ate her food. Steven was done and I was sitting waiting on Thing Two. I usually only give her a tiny TINY bit on a desert plate so she doesnt feel overwhelmed by a lot of food on a huge plate. (a little bit of child psychology for ya .) But tonight it was a battle of wills.

She ate everything else.. but then sat and poked her beans. When she asked to be excused from the beans I told her that she was welcome to leave the table, but that until the beans (6 of them) were gone that she would be re-presented with them at the next meal.

Then the theatrics began. She was so funny. She flopped around in her chair and sobbed (at which point I was called “mean mommy” by Steven. The conversation went something like that.

her: If I eat those beans I might die.

me: I ate them and I am perfectly fine.

her: The squeeky sound my teeth make when I bite them freaks me out. Food should not squeek. Maybe the beans are still alive.

me: The squeek tells you they are fresh and the vitamins are still in them.

her: I hate vitamins. Maybe thats why I like canned beans better……

She eventually ate them.. took them rather, like pills. Litterally swallowed them whole. By the time she got to that point it was more a battle of wills rather than me wanting her to get some greens in her.

I even took some pictures of the battle.

Its been a quiet weekend here. Friday we hung around the house and watched television.. I took a bubble bath and Steven watched wrestling. (YAWN)

Saturday we did some cleaning and the like. We ran to Walmart for tp and soap and I looked for a pair of crocs on ebay. AND I managed to score a pair of RED beach clogs for $18 including shipping. Not a bad deal at all. Later Saturday I found some FAKES for $3 a pair at Dollar General. ( I already had pink and I have the red REAL ones coming soon so I picked up 2 pairs, a brown and a purple.)It will be interesting to see the difference since I have only ever worn the fakes. I love my pink ones and wear them ALL the time.

Sunday we went to church in the morning and then I came home and took my meds. They give me kind of an off tummy when I take them after I have eaten anything. BUT I cant risk side affects *ahem* when I am singing in the choir.. so I wait until after church.. BUT I have usually already eaten both breakfast and lunch by the time I get to take them.. SO Sunday afternoons can sometimes be a little uncomfy. But I love singing in the choir and am not willing to give that up.. Its a trade off that will all end when we finally get pregnant! Because hopefully once we have the little one safe and sound I will be able to reduce my metformin doses to around 500mg a day instead of the 3000mg a day I am on!

This evening I made a yummy dinner of baked BBQ chicken, rice, beans, and Cesar Salad. I havent been much in the mood to cook this weekend and didnt at all. We snacked friday and then saturday evening I wasnt hungry since I had eaten apples with caramel dip in the late afternoon so we headed to Waffle house to grab something about 8 oclock. I know Steven was glad to see me in the kitchen.

Tonight I baked a cake. Its one of my childhood favorites. A duncan hines yellow cake with my Grandma Martin’s boiled cocoa frosting. It is kind of an aquired taste as the frosting is more like a glaze. And it isnt very sweet. I have made it ton of times.. but I guess I never really paid that much attention. My mom always made it in a flat cake pan… so have I. I never thought about WHY. That was just usually the pan I had handy. Tonight I decided to make it a layer cake.. and mmm I forgot the frosting is less “frosting” and more runny oozy “glaze” that eventually sets up since you pour it over the cake while everything is still hot. You can imagine the mess it made. The layers were all slidey and the frosting oozed onto the counter. Eventually it sets up and I got a fairly respectable looking cake.. after licking a LOT of drips and ooze and at one point sliding the top layer back into place… ha. It was messy. But it tasted YUMMY.

Grandma Martin’s Cocoa “Frosting”

1 cup sugar

2 cups hot water

1/2 cup hershey’s cocoa

4-5 heaping tbsp flour.

Bake a yellow cake in a FLAT cakepan as directed. As soon as cake is removed from oven begin frosting. 

In a saucepan on low heat combine sugar and water. When sugar is dissolved and water is very hot add cocoa. Wisk until combined. When mixture begins to bubble add flour one tbsp at a time until mixture JUST begins to thicken. Remove from heat and continue wisking until thick.

Poke cake with a knife. Really riddle it with holes. Pour glaze over warlm cake. Eat either HOT or cool completely. The frosting will solidify as it cools.

In other news this will be Emma Grace’s last week.  I am a little sad since I have taken care of her since she was born. But I am excited for both of us to move onto something new. I thought you’d like to see a picture Steven took of the two of us on friday

Three things you cant talk about in mixed company. At least that’s what they say.. whomever “they” are. UNLESS you live in a state where there is an early primary. WICH is where I happen to live.

These days the race to the whitehouse is ALL you hear about. South Carolina being the first state in the South to hold thier primary we are kind of a big deal.. at least for the next few days. Tonight a debate is being held, right here in our area (what I woulnd’t do for a ticket to THAT event!) And over the next few days the candidates will be saturating our state with thier campaigns. YAY

Because personally? I LOVE the race. In college I was REALLY into politics. In fact I had planned to make Alaska politics my career.. What a difference becoming a mother made huh? I loved the debate and the fact that just any ole body can become a leader in our country. I made it my life and loved it. Now that I am a mom and loving that even MORE, it isnt so important.. BUT I still love it.

The presidential race has brought out something different in my relationship with Steven. We never really discussed our politics before now. We get along so well that I assumed that we would basically agree on our politics. hmm Not so much. While I dont think there are MAJOR disagreements on key issues.  Scarily? He is leaning toward a democrats views.. I am a longtime republican. How ’bout that. We might have some very interesting conversations in the next few months!

IN other news. I think I may have landed a job! Monday evening Emma Grace’s mom came home to report that she had decided to enroll Emma in preschool ahead of schedule. While I think this is a good idea and that she will benefit from being around other children. I was a little taken aback as I was not prepared for it. financially I dont make a whole lot by keeping Emma.. about $13 a day. Wich hourly? Is peanuts. AND things have not been going very smoothly lately as I have been feeling kind of taken advantage of and a little abused by my cousin and her opinions of the worth of my work for her. So I think its better that I dont take care of her anymore.. I will miss her TERRIBLY. But since she IS family its not like I wont ever see her. For the first time EVER there wont be a baby in my house. I will be putting away the pack and play and taking the high chair to the barn . I cant help but be a little sad about that.

ANYWAY. Yesterday I went on a whim to apply for a job I saw in the paper. It was kind of vaugue but it turned out to be with some people who are opening a coffee house nearby and Im pretty sure I landed the job. They are really interesting people who also run a diversity project and sell diversity supplies to schools.They had extra spaceand noticing the lack of ANY kind of specialty coffee place decided to open a coffee bar! (I am SO excited about that in itself. There are days when I NEED a latte!)  I am really hoping that they will call me.  I could work early hours and be finished with my workday before my kids even get home from school! I also mentioned that I might be taking my kids to Alaska this summer and had another trip planned sometime this spring and her response was “ohh thats no problem at all.. we are very fliexible.” She even asked my opinion on the way the counter/kitchen was set up and about the esspresso machine they had purchased. When I left she said “we will definatly be calling you”. I am pretty confident they will hire me,and cant wait to go to work! Even if I am making minimum wage Id only have to work 15 hours a week to make what I was making working 40 hours taking care of Emma! SO excited.

I get the bad mommy badge today. UGH. I want to slap my forehead again and again like Homer Simpson tonight.

I may have caused my child gastric distress.. inadvertently of course.. but still!

We had spaghetti for dinner tonight. Without tooting my own horn, I make a darn good spaghetti sauce. I start with a jar of Aldi’s brand cheap-o sauce and doll it up until it is AWESOME. I cant divulge my secret, but for the sake of my post I will say that I usually include a half teaspoon of crushed red pepper flakes.

Did you know that spices expire? Really you can keep them tooo long and they loose thier potency. ESPECIALLY things like crushed red pepper flakes. Im sure in watching the bazillion hours of Food Network that I have someone would have imparted this knowledge on me.. but I missed it. IT IS SO SO TRUE. This is how I know.

The last time I made spaghetti, I FINALLY finished a Sam’s club sized container of red pepper flakes. I bought it when Steven and I first moved in together ummmm 6 or 7 years ago. Thing One was just learning to walk if that gives you any idea. So the the other day I picked up a little packet at the store… you know the cheap-o spices they sell in the mexican department.. they come in little celephane bags and you feel VERY ethnic and hip when you purchase them since the packaging is all in spanish. I knew Id go through them pretty fast, but I didnt want to try to get a trip to Sam’s until I needed some other stuff too.

When we got home I threw them up in the spice area of my kitchen (ok so I store my spices in the cupboard above the stove… its wrong *thank you Alton Brown* but its far more convenient and I only keep the seasonings I use every day there.. and the little cheap-o mexican cellophane bags… )

Tonight when I was making dinner I was admittedly distracted. The baby was being picked up.. the dog was chasing Thing Two (or vice versa) around the island in the kitchen and Thing One was in the midst of yet another teen age crisis.. (OH THE DRAMA!) I wasnt paying tooo much attention and when it came time for the red pepper flakes I reached into the drawer where all the utensils get thrown (all mooshed together. I love this house even if it has NO storage) Grabbed what I thought was a 1/2 teaspoon and measured out the pepper flakes.  Throwing in a few extra for good measure. There. tahdah Dinner is served.

Normally dinner is a pretty quiet time. We sit at the table together and eat. I love it. Its like Americana for just a few minutes around Casa De Lane. Tonight it was just crazy. I served up dinner and then we realized the dog was missing (asleep under our bed as it turned out) and other nuts things set Thing Two to sitting by herself. I told her to go ahead and eat since dinner was getting cold.

her: “WOW, Mommy this is SPICY”

me from another room in the house: “NO it is not. Its the same spaghetti I cook every single time”

her: Mommy, it really is, I promise.

me, slightly irritated since mealtimes are generally a battleground for the two of us: THING ONE EAT YOUR FOOD OR THERE WILL BE NO DESERT TONIGHT  (and I bought ice cream.)

her now in tears: Mommy I just cant eat it.. its so hot.

By now the dog is found and the other three of the family sit down. Steven takes a bite and his eyes begin to water, he chokes a little and takes a drink of his now watered down iced tea. Knowing that I have had a rough few days he doesnt say anything. (dumba**)I am a little peaved at him, having had to shoot the dog in the fanny with a bee-bee gun in order to get her in the house (she has some training issues still) I ignore him and continue to eat my salad, not having touched my spaghetti.  A fan of hot stuff Thing One says. “this is NOT to hot” and begins eating with gusto. By now Thing two has forced down most of the small helping I had placed on her plate as well as a whole piece of bread and ALL of her drink. Her eyes are welling and she is breathing through her mouth.

FINALLY I take a bite.

its like fire.

so so so spicy.

My nostrils are burning and my eyes are watering.

That was the hottest darn spaghetti sauce I have EVER created. I ran to the sink to find the measuring spoon I had used.

It read 1 TBSP.

SO. Not only had I been using expired pepper flakes that were likely WAY past thier prime and no longer that spicy the entire time I had been making the sauce recipe I had MORE than doubled the amount that I usually use.. THEN I forced my kid to eat it.

I should be beaten.

needless to say Thing Two got more than her fair share of ice cream tonight… and I gave her a tums before she went to bed just in case.

I am so totally fired.

WOW. That weekend went by SO SO fast. Gosh I hate that. It doesnt seem like we really did to much.. but I guess we must have been really busy for it to slip by like it did!

Friday night we just kind of hung out. I watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Under The Tuscan Sun. Two of my favorite movies and just kind of snacked for dinner.

Thing One was off at a Youth group retreat and Thing Two went to my parents to spend the night.

Saturday I ran around here and got some cleaning done. I try to vaccume at LEAST once a week, especially since we have a puppy and she is starting to shed a little. Saturday night I cooked french dip sandwiches and  doritos ( I had been craving them) for supper. Then we ran to Wally’s to get the girls the Wii games that Santa had promised them. Thing One picked a “Happy Feet” game and Thing Two OF COURSE chose “Hannah Montana” She has been having a blast shopping and dancing and singing along with Hannah. The game is pretty cute.. only Hannah’s fake accent KILLS me. They try to make her sound like a country girl and she comes accross as dumb. Its kinda funny. Steven and I have been walking around the house talking in the sticky sweet wierd southern accent Hannah uses on the game. SO funny.

Sunday was church in the morning. We are still on track for our new years resolution to attend sunday school.. even though I was running a little late getting ready. Steven and the girls were in the car and I was still getting dressed. I usually get all ready as far as hair and makeup before I put my dress or whatever on and was rushing. I wore a top that has a light shell that you wear under a nice flowy see-though top. In my rush I managed to put the shell on backward and didnt realize it until I was already sitting in sunday school! grrr. Luckily it wasnt noticable by anyone who didnt know better and I was able to sneak into the bathroom and change it before we went to preaching. What a dork.

Sunday afternoon Steven and I went to Florence to spend some alone time together.  We utilized the coupon book my Aunt gave us at christmas again and ate at Cici’s pizza for a total bill of $7.99! You can’t beat that! I LOVE thier yummy yummy cinnamon rolls.

 After we ate we went to Aldi’s and grocery shopped for the coming two weeks and got some yummy stuff. Somehow we are eating a LOT of chicken in the next couple weeks though. Something like 9 out of 14 meals is chicken of some kind.. We will be sprouting feathers and begining to cluck soon! After grocery shopping we checked out EB games and found Thing One a charger for her PSP (the old one got lost when a bag of electronic stuff went missing when we went to the beach in November. ) And I looked for a pair of shoes. I need a pair of brown casual shoes that arent flip flops to go with jeans and the like. I have a great pair of leather flip flops that I love.. but they make me look silly in the winter.. plus if I go anywhere where its cold I need to cover my tootsies. I didnt find anything that thrilled me. I also wear a pair of pink clogs (not unlike crocs… but totally fake lol) all the time too.. but they just dont go with everything. Thing One has a pair of black ones… I guess if the situation arises I’ll wear her shoes! Its great having a kid with big feet!

After we shopped some we headed back to Dillon, but not before making a pitstop at SONIC mmm mmm love that place.. however I wouldnt recomend the Lemon Berry Creme Slush.. its wierd tasting. I love lemon-berry slushes so I figured the creme slush would be yummy too.. eh.

When we got home we played with the girls on the Wii and then settled in to watch THREE hours of Iron Chef America. We love that show.

Today I am a laundress. Washer-woman monday. BLEGHCH!

Coming from Alaska.. I guess I am inclined to believe pretty much anything says about one of my fellow Alaskans without doing any background about it.

Im not sure where I heard it. But I had assumed that my information was correct about fellow Alaskan import Holly Madison. Somewhere I got the story that she spent time in Anchorage as a child. Turns out she is a bush kid! Craig Alaska or Prince of Wales Island is a TINY little remote place where there is NOTHING (well very little.)

In case you didnt know. “The Girls Next Door” is one of my “guity pleasures” Steven calls it “The Hoes Next Door” and makes snide comments about the show (he isnt into skinny blonde chicks.. good thing for me huh?!) And I have always kind of been a little down on Holly.. since no self respecting Alaskan girl could be that silly, ect.. but since she came from the “bush” and not from Anchorage? I guess I can cut her a break. It isnt easy living in Craig.. or any other po-dunk in Alaska.

 So.. I guess to go from moon boots and pilot bread and smoked salmon, fur rhondy in the big town and getting everything a season behind the lower 48 to Hef’s # 1? I can only say. YOU.GO. GIRL.